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The Scream Queen's Survival Guide: Avoid Machetes, Defeat Evil Children, Steer Clear of Bloody Dismemberment, and Conquer Other Horror Movie Clichés

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Learn life lessons that Jamie Lee, Cissy Spacek, Drew Barrymore, and other large-breasted girls learned on screen, whether they were kicking ass or getting baked to death in a tanning bed. Women owe it to themselves to master the scream queen's basic rules of survival. Learn life lessons that Jamie Lee, Cissy Spacek, Drew Barrymore, and other large-breasted girls learned on screen, whether they were kicking ass or getting baked to death in a tanning bed. Women owe it to themselves to master the scream queen's basic rules of survival.


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Learn life lessons that Jamie Lee, Cissy Spacek, Drew Barrymore, and other large-breasted girls learned on screen, whether they were kicking ass or getting baked to death in a tanning bed. Women owe it to themselves to master the scream queen's basic rules of survival. Learn life lessons that Jamie Lee, Cissy Spacek, Drew Barrymore, and other large-breasted girls learned on screen, whether they were kicking ass or getting baked to death in a tanning bed. Women owe it to themselves to master the scream queen's basic rules of survival.

30 review for The Scream Queen's Survival Guide: Avoid Machetes, Defeat Evil Children, Steer Clear of Bloody Dismemberment, and Conquer Other Horror Movie Clichés

  1. 4 out of 5

    Kaylee

    While humorous, I didn't feel the author referenced enough older slasher films which are where the horror cliches came from. Also, although she marked it with a spoiler warning, she gave away the twist ending of "Sleepaway Camp" - though she never referenced it in her survival tips. Lastly, she claimed there was a blunder in "Scream," by not killing off characters who broke the Horror Movie Rules - which is not a blunder at all, as the intention was for the characters to break the rules and surv While humorous, I didn't feel the author referenced enough older slasher films which are where the horror cliches came from. Also, although she marked it with a spoiler warning, she gave away the twist ending of "Sleepaway Camp" - though she never referenced it in her survival tips. Lastly, she claimed there was a blunder in "Scream," by not killing off characters who broke the Horror Movie Rules - which is not a blunder at all, as the intention was for the characters to break the rules and survive. There is much more to be said, and I will get to it in the upcoming review.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Therese

    While I'm sure that any self-respecting horror fan won't learn anything new from The Scream Queen's Survival Guide, it does lay out the rules for surviving a horror movie in such a funny and interesting way that I couldn't help but adore it. It's definitely a fun read. While I'm sure that any self-respecting horror fan won't learn anything new from The Scream Queen's Survival Guide, it does lay out the rules for surviving a horror movie in such a funny and interesting way that I couldn't help but adore it. It's definitely a fun read.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Suzanne Delafontaine

    You know that friend you have that's kind of funny in small doses, but gets on your nerves after a bit? Imagine that person wrote a book. This started out okay, but got old REALLY fast. It's repetitive, offering multiple variations of the same cliche, and wildly unorganized. The categories really mean nothing. And the supposed horror "cliches?" Well if you can't find even one example of it being used in a horror film, then it's probably not so overused as to be considered a cliche, now is it. I You know that friend you have that's kind of funny in small doses, but gets on your nerves after a bit? Imagine that person wrote a book. This started out okay, but got old REALLY fast. It's repetitive, offering multiple variations of the same cliche, and wildly unorganized. The categories really mean nothing. And the supposed horror "cliches?" Well if you can't find even one example of it being used in a horror film, then it's probably not so overused as to be considered a cliche, now is it. I was seriously misled by the upfront of this book, and only have myself to blame. If I would have dug a little further, I would have realized why I got it so cheap from Amazon. To be clear - a "scream queen" is a horror movie heroine, more specifically an actress who frequently appears in horror films, often as the "last girl." The author of this book? A chick with a Netflix subscription who thinks that makes her an authority on horror films. Trust me, as a long-time horror junkie, any true fan would recognize the author as a poser in the first few pages. Or at least by the fifth or sixth time she has to use Jennifer's Body as an example (seriously, one of the crappiest horror movies ever made?). Even if you can overlook the limited knowledge base and the misrepresentation (the author is not even an actress, never mind scream queen), the tone should be enough to make you consider becoming a bloodthirsty stalker yourself. It starts off cheeky, but as you read page after page of increasingly sarcastic and downright rude comments - as both a Mainer and a chick from a Catholic family, I found more than one personally insulting comment - the humor starts to fade, fast. I've never taken so long to finish anything horror-movie related in my life. But I just struggled with so much in this book! The snarky tone. The mistakes. The vagueries. I felt at times like the author hadn't even watched the movies she used as examples - or at least had watched them "edited for television," as she was clearly missing details - or just making them up. If you're looking for a great humor book on horror films, check out Seth Grahme-Smith's How to Survive a Horror Movie. If you're looking for great horror recommendations, just browse some of the lists on IMDB. Any of them is probably better than this author's selection (Friday the 13th sequels -really?!). Hell, just contact me and I'd be happy to give you at least a dozen personalized recommendations - most even available on Netflix! Just don't waste your time or money on this book. It's a crime against trees.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Jennifer

    Maredith O'Hayre's tongue-in-cheek guide easily beats out Seth Grahame-Smith's (How to Survive a Horror Movie, 2007) entry in the category for Book-Most-Likely-To-Get-You-Safely-Through-A-B-Horror-Flick. Still, O'Hayre seems to have some gapping holes in her horror-movie knowledge, which leads one to believe she may have missed something vital. Better, but I'm still taking my lessons from Wes Craven. Maredith O'Hayre's tongue-in-cheek guide easily beats out Seth Grahame-Smith's (How to Survive a Horror Movie, 2007) entry in the category for Book-Most-Likely-To-Get-You-Safely-Through-A-B-Horror-Flick. Still, O'Hayre seems to have some gapping holes in her horror-movie knowledge, which leads one to believe she may have missed something vital. Better, but I'm still taking my lessons from Wes Craven.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Lexie

    Prelim review: I sincerely want this woman as my best friend, she is just awesome sounding. At least her comments are. As an avid horror fan (of the NOT Saw or Hostel movies) I cracking up because really its all so true. I hit my forehead whenever two teens run off to have sex with a murderer on the loose, I want to punch the idiot who says 'Let's explore the abandoned state prison!' and lament the idiocy of the poor goth dude who was a victim of circumstances he had no hand in. Prelim review: I sincerely want this woman as my best friend, she is just awesome sounding. At least her comments are. As an avid horror fan (of the NOT Saw or Hostel movies) I cracking up because really its all so true. I hit my forehead whenever two teens run off to have sex with a murderer on the loose, I want to punch the idiot who says 'Let's explore the abandoned state prison!' and lament the idiocy of the poor goth dude who was a victim of circumstances he had no hand in.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Shelly Hammond

    This book is pretty funny. It takes a lot of the common mistakes, silliness, and just plain odd things that are in horror movies and, in many ways, either makes a mockery of them or gives some sort of tip to avoid them. It's a book not to be taken seriously and just to have fun with. Some of the movie facts might have been a bit off but for the most part things were good and quite fun. I had a lot of good laugh time out of this book. If you like spoof type books that could help serve a purpose, s This book is pretty funny. It takes a lot of the common mistakes, silliness, and just plain odd things that are in horror movies and, in many ways, either makes a mockery of them or gives some sort of tip to avoid them. It's a book not to be taken seriously and just to have fun with. Some of the movie facts might have been a bit off but for the most part things were good and quite fun. I had a lot of good laugh time out of this book. If you like spoof type books that could help serve a purpose, should the need arise that you find yourself in a horror movie, this book may be one that you'll want to check you.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Nick

    Seth Grahame-Smith executed this concept well in 'How to Survive a Horror Movie' because he adopted the conventions of the survival manual and applied them to the world of horror cinema--organizing threats into categories, offering mnemonic devices to remember tactics, etc. 'The Scream Queen's Survival Guide' just throws out a list of horror movie cliches, with a snarky tone and an abundance of stereotypical 'feminine' humor that I found pandering. Seth Grahame-Smith executed this concept well in 'How to Survive a Horror Movie' because he adopted the conventions of the survival manual and applied them to the world of horror cinema--organizing threats into categories, offering mnemonic devices to remember tactics, etc. 'The Scream Queen's Survival Guide' just throws out a list of horror movie cliches, with a snarky tone and an abundance of stereotypical 'feminine' humor that I found pandering.

  8. 4 out of 5

    sammi_reads

    Entertaining in parts, but got repetitive very quickly, missed some obvious examples and misused a few others. Clearly just a book written as a fun parody, but I wish the author had a more thorough knowledge of the genre so they didn't have to repeat as much. Entertaining in parts, but got repetitive very quickly, missed some obvious examples and misused a few others. Clearly just a book written as a fun parody, but I wish the author had a more thorough knowledge of the genre so they didn't have to repeat as much.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Steve Isaak

    A snarky and clever read, Scream Queen is "light" (if you're a horror fan) book that's worth having - particularly if you're waiting in the lobby of a dentist's office (tooth pain generally being less severe than dismemberment) or engaged in a corresponding endeavor. Scream Queen runs about twenty pages too long, especially near the end, in that some of her survival tips read like reworded versions of previous survival tips. That said, this smart-minded book is worth checking out, even worth owni A snarky and clever read, Scream Queen is "light" (if you're a horror fan) book that's worth having - particularly if you're waiting in the lobby of a dentist's office (tooth pain generally being less severe than dismemberment) or engaged in a corresponding endeavor. Scream Queen runs about twenty pages too long, especially near the end, in that some of her survival tips read like reworded versions of previous survival tips. That said, this smart-minded book is worth checking out, even worth owning, if you get it cheap. Either way, it's a good time for horror fans with a sense of humor. (This review originally appeared on the Reading & Writing By Pub Light site.)

  10. 4 out of 5

    Jesse

    I always enjoy horror parody books. This was was geared toward keeping women alive rather than a general approach. It was funny and entertaining for a horror-wuss like myself. The other book by Seth Grahame-Smith was broader in its dissection of different tropes within horror movies. O'Hayre was about keeping women alive and less about understanding the rules of the genre. I enjoyed this book but it got a little repetitive after a while. There were a couple of major typos and one glaring error whe I always enjoy horror parody books. This was was geared toward keeping women alive rather than a general approach. It was funny and entertaining for a horror-wuss like myself. The other book by Seth Grahame-Smith was broader in its dissection of different tropes within horror movies. O'Hayre was about keeping women alive and less about understanding the rules of the genre. I enjoyed this book but it got a little repetitive after a while. There were a couple of major typos and one glaring error where Steven Spielberg was confused with Stephen King. I know mistakes can happen but I was really surprised by these. It's still a fun read but it lost points.

  11. 5 out of 5

    The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears

    And for pete's sake, DON'T FALL DOWN while escaping from the monster, axe murderer, machete-wielding psycho du jour! I've come to the conclusion that any ingenue who falls down and pants deserves to be hacked to bits for being stupid. And for pete's sake, DON'T FALL DOWN while escaping from the monster, axe murderer, machete-wielding psycho du jour! I've come to the conclusion that any ingenue who falls down and pants deserves to be hacked to bits for being stupid.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Jennifer

  13. 4 out of 5

    Samantha

  14. 5 out of 5

    Maro

  15. 4 out of 5

    Samantha

  16. 5 out of 5

    Tammie

  17. 5 out of 5

    Sarah

  18. 4 out of 5

    Mary Elizabeth

  19. 4 out of 5

    Jen

  20. 4 out of 5

    Aj

  21. 5 out of 5

    ReD

  22. 4 out of 5

    Stephanie

  23. 5 out of 5

    Bill

  24. 5 out of 5

    Zed Amadeo

  25. 4 out of 5

    Rich Veramontes

  26. 5 out of 5

    Kaci

  27. 4 out of 5

    Chris Hartley

  28. 5 out of 5

    Noel Maczko

  29. 5 out of 5

    Davienne

  30. 4 out of 5

    Emily

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